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Hardrockin Goes To Europe Day 1

Tuesday 13th of July 2004 (Day 1)

Meet Farrar + Peter, go to Waterloo, buy Metro Pass (twice the bloody price of Gabriel and Caspar’s Carte Orange), go to Gare De Nord and arrive in Paris!!! Take Metro to Le Louvre where we are staying and walk to Youth Hostel.

Fun Box Out Feature NO. 1

Why the Youth Hostel sucked:

  • Expensive
  • Shit pillows
  • Irritating receptionist guy who’d just ignore you and mumble in the phone
  • Repeatedly didn’t give us the 8 person room they promised
  • Forced Anna to sleep alone/with Caspar
  • Annoying cafeteria woman who’s only job was to tell you to put your tray back
  • Dutch people who’s feet stank so bad they took 3 different people’s deodorant to stop them from smelling OUTSIDE the room
  • (Fit – according to Farrar) Israeli people who could wake up, go back to sleep and start their bull-getting-done-roughly-by-a-pneumatic-drill snoring routine INSTANTLY and then stealing Farrar’s money
  • Noisy Germans with builder’s bums who were rude to him and called him ein Fucker
  • No one to complain to about the above
Gabriel and his Experience
Meet Gabriel and Caspar – tell us how Gabriel decided to carry a 3.5-inch flip knife with locking blade through customs for “Sandwiches” . Gabriel gets stopped and is held for half an hour whilst police interrogate him, tell him he might have to miss the train and that he could be looking at 2 years inside for it, sonny. Fortunately miss his meat cleaver in his hand luggage. Let him go with about 10 seconds to get the train. Runs. Makes it. Caspar surprised (had left him for dead).

Meet Anna and Tom. Go to square in the Louvre, walk to Ile De La Cité, see Notre Dame. Buy Ellie “Brando” book, get chatted up in French by bookseller. Go to Little Athens, Latin Quarter. Go into restaurant. Walk to Falafel shop in Jewish quarter. (A damn long walk)

Fun Fact 1!

Number of Falafels eaten at Jewish falafel shop = 64 ( 4 falafels to a pitta x 14 falafel meals eaten + 8 had by Peter when with parents)

Days there = 5

Falafels eaten per day = 12.8

 

Go to Pompdidou (Inside out building) centre. See funny fountains (eg. Tit mermaid fountain). See crazy Chinese guy with crazier tambourine guy singing Elton John’s “your song”. Laugh at him. Plays La Bumba combined with Twist and Shout and the Macarena in one song skilfully showing the interchangeability and lack of innovation in pop music whilst juxtaposing numerous sub-genres (or something). I request “No Woman I Cry”. Chinese guy skilfully shows the hitherto unseen dark side of Bob Marley’s classic by changing the chorus to No Woman I Die. Genius. Surreal. Go to Bastille. Join celebrations there (eve of Bastille day). Start conga line. See jazz band. With accordion. Go home. See brass band playing In The Jungle. 12am play Happy Birthday (for Peter?)

 

End of Day 1

Click here to carry on to day 2.